Continuity

What with running the business blog and getting more active on Facebook and Twitter, this poor blog has been very neglected.

Quite a number of fairly major changes over the last year or so, not that I'd care to enumerate them here. I ticked over to 40 some weeks ago - I'd thought that it wouldn't matter, that it'd just be another day, but for unknown reasons, the realisation hit me quite hard. I think it was realisation that things were now finite. I know they've always been finite, but when you're in your 20s and 30s, the finishing line just seems so far away. Apart from this sudden awareness, nothing much seems to have altered. I think I've become calmer, less fixated on things, more open to putting up with changes, whether good or ill.

I dreamed last night of completing some missions with a team which was something like the A-Team, without the over-the-top caricature characters. At the end of the mission, we had to grab some cars from a car yard and effect a quick getaway. I got into a nice, classic looking car and started heading off... only to realise it was manual transmission. Never mind that in real life, I don't drive manual, in this dream, I shifted gears and went on my merry way.

It was also a dream with a nebulous figure whom I felt was important to the story, but for the life of me, couldn't work out who this was. In one of those strange moments in a dream, this person became someone I'd gone to school with back in Malaysia, but it wasn't really him. It was someone else. Bloody dreams!

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Rest in Peace Russell Mullings.

Your passing on Friday was so sudden and I feel so much for your family, Jo and Jack. Your son Elliot, who I found out today is turning 21 this year. My dear, dear friend Christie, your sister. Your other sister, Holly. Your brother, Sam, and mother, Kerry.

I was looking at the photographs that Christie and Holly had scanned and uploaded to Facebook. Photographs from your childhood; you with your flaming rust-coloured hair and cheeky kid's smile - you look so much like your nephew Saf looked when he was younger. You at the birth of Elliot; you look so young, so gob-smacked as you held infant Elliot in your arms, surrounded by Sam and Holly who were just children then too.

Your smile held such promise of a life ahead. A life cut short.

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But I know you found fulfillment and contentment in the last few years. Your sister, Christie, is so proud of you.